Planet of the Sharks (2016) ⭐⭐

Shark’s don’t roar, unless you watch Asylum/SyFy films

Sometime in the future, when global warming has knackered the planet, ice glaciers have melted and most of the planet is submerged in water. Humanity has taken a turn for the worse and is living in a “Mad Max” (1979) slash “Waterworld” (1995) style dystopian future environment – only on the water instead of a baron landscape. People live on small islands made of junk, in small tribes. Sharks have evolved into the number one predator; they are able to work together taking their lead from an alpha shark.

Before I watched this I left expectation at the door. I knew this would not be like “Mad Max” (1979), “Waterworld” (1995), or “Planet of the Apes” (1968). I knew, made by Asylum and SyFy, that this would not be believable, authentic; Hollywood stylish or even excellently delivered…. But… this 2016 film has to be amongst the lamest shark based films I have watched in recent years (and I’ve seen a lot!), it’s instantly forgettable – or at least I wish I could erase it from my brain. The story is stupid (it had the premise to be slightly clever, but then went off on a tangent and never delivered), the plot has more holes than a colander, the dialogue and acting is atrocious, there are times when sexuality (poorly attempted too) is used to cover the poor acting and story, the CGI is weak (oh so bad it hurt at times), there are people in the background of some scenes walking on water because the production team are lazy and used a public location and didn’t think about people walking passed the set…. I could go on but I’m boring myself now. Don’t watch this if you can help it, not for a bet, not for a dare, not for a laugh.

2 out of 10, and I’m being very generous!

⭐⭐ (2/10)

Published by one9eighty

Male, shiny teeth & healthy coat, enjoys walks in the park and belly rubs... err, no wait, that's a dog isn't it..... Northern, grump, geeky, sarcastic, occasional swearer. Opinions are my own.

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