Almighty Thor (2011)

Replace Almighty with Godawful

Dir. Christopher Ray

Runtime: 92 minutes

Rating: 12

Starring: Cody Deal, Richard Grieco, Patricia Velasquez, Kevin Nash

Being released straight to TV was a gift for this movie, it should have been released straight to a landfill! I don’t mind a bad film, sometimes I enjoy a bad film or a cheesy film, but this film took me to new depths that I don’t want to experience again. Unfortunately for my sins though, I watched this twice so I could give it a fair and honest review.

Summary

Loki attacks Asgard because he’s jealous that Thor could soon be ruler. Loki kills Odin and others. Odin sends Thor’s hammer to Earth. Thor goes in search with Jarnsaxa to find it before Loki can.


… or… here’s a summary in 180 characters or less…

Taking a dump on Norse mythology and Marvel’s superhero franchise – this is not a Thor you know or want!


Look online on sites like IMDb and Rotten Tomatos and you’ll see a lot of negativity about this film and I’ll be honest – I can see why, this is a stinker! If Marvel’s Thor is the pinnacle of what is right, this version of Thor is a somebody doing cosplay using items found in a small charity shop for props and costume.

The casting is horrible – c’mon Kevin Nash – I loved you as a wrestler but you couldn’t act in the ring and you shouldn’t be acting in a film. Richard Grieco played Loki which was upsetting – his was probably one of the better performances, but I’ve still seen human statues more animated than he was. Cody Deal – what was the deal?? Cody Deal played Thor and c’mon… really – you came across like a brainless halfwit!? Don’t even get me started on Patricia Velasquez – what was that about – this made her turn in “The Mummy” (1999) look like an absolute epic!? I’ve read lots of Norse mythology and Viking saga stories, I know the characters in those aren’t as heroic or clever as Marvel studio’s portrays them – but this was an insult.

With what feels like no plot, no acting skills, no structure to the film, and no – well, just no hope!

This really has to be the worst film I have seen in a long while and I pride myself on watching terrible films. I regret watching this.

⭐ (1/10)

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